From Words to Frequencies

Introduction: The Power of Words

“There are no bad children—only bad influences.” ~ Sadhguru

This quote reminds us that we all enter this world pure, innocent, and impressionable. Over time, the environments we are raised in shape how we behave, communicate, and connect with others. Words play a significant role in this process. They form the foundation of our relationships, influence our emotions, and define how we see the world.

For me, growing up in a small town with limited resources and a sketchy education system, my communication style seemed fine at the time. Cursing was as common as breathing—it’s just what I heard and used to express myself. It wasn’t until adulthood that I started feeling misunderstood, unheard, or dismissed, that I realized something was missing. That discomfort sparked my journey to master the art of communication—a journey that would not only improve how I connected with others but also how I understood myself.

The Subtle Power of Words in Relationships

Words like “I’m proud of you” may seem harmless, but they’ve always made me uncomfortable. This phrase, often used by parents, suggests conditional approval: “I’m proud of you because you did something I approve of.” While praise has its place, this language can unintentionally create a transactional dynamic, where love and acknowledgment feel earned rather than freely given.

Unconditional love, by definition, requires no conditions. Yet, praise is inherently conditional. This realization was especially powerful as I reflected on how words shape our emotions, self-perception, and relationships—especially for those with narcissistic parents who often use language as a tool for control.

From Small-Town Upbringing to a Fascination with Language

Growing up, my environment didn’t encourage refined communication. But that began to change when I discovered TV shows like The Big Bang Theory and The Originals. The way characters on these shows spoke—with intelligence, precision, and sophistication—was a stark contrast to what I was used to. Their words carried weight and intention. I was inspired to elevate my own communication skills, starting with paying closer attention to how I expressed myself and how others responded.

What I learned was profound: communication isn’t just about talking. It’s about bridging divides, fostering understanding, and building meaningful connections. 

The Lessons of Corporate America and Cultural Differences

One of my biggest wake-up calls came during my time in Corporate America, particularly during the pandemic. Working in sales and customer service exposed me to how most people communicate: selfishly, carelessly, and often cruelly. “The customer is always right” became an unspoken rule, giving people license to treat others poorly. This experience taught me a lot about reactive communication and its damaging effects.

I also learned how cultural differences shape communication. For example, high-context cultures like Japan rely heavily on nonverbal cues and implied meanings, while low-context cultures like the U.S. prioritize clarity and directness. I remember feeling frustrated when someone said, “I’ll let you know,” only to never follow up. It felt dismissive at first, but I later realized it was simply a cultural difference in how communication is approached. Adapting to these differences helped me take things less personally and communicate more effectively.

Active Listening vs. Reactive Listening

The difference between active and reactive listening is simple but profound. Active listening means truly hearing someone, understanding their words, and reflecting on them before responding. Reactive listening, on the other hand, is waiting for your turn to speak—often with little regard for what’s actually being said.

Most people communicate selfishly, not effectively. They prioritize their own thoughts over truly connecting with others. Learning to listen actively transformed my relationships and interactions. It’s a skill that requires practice, but the rewards are immense.

The Art of Silence

“Silence is a source of great strength.” ~ Lao Tzu

This summer, my wife and I experimented with silence during social gatherings. By remaining quiet, we found that people revealed far more about themselves than they likely realized. Silence grounded us, allowing us to observe and understand others without the need to fill every moment with words. It taught me that sometimes, saying nothing is the most powerful form of communication.

Adapting to Your Audience

Effective communication requires flexibility. Some people have a single tone and style that they use with everyone, but this approach can limit your ability to connect. Just like an actor with range can take on any role, a skilled communicator adapts to their audience.

Whether you’re speaking to a friend, a coworker, or a stranger, it’s essential to regulate how you show up. Be humble, but confident. Be everything and nothing at once. And most importantly, never make others feel inferior to you—clarity and humility are key.

People Are Frequencies

People operate on emotional frequencies. The energy you bring into a conversation sets the tone for the interaction. Your words, tone, and intent shape not only how others perceive you but also how they feel about themselves.

This is why mastering communication is so important. The way you communicate affects your emotions, relationships, and even the opportunities that come your way. Aligning your language with the energy you want to bring into the world creates a ripple effect that can transform every aspect of your life.

Practical Steps to Improve Communication

1. Practice Unconditional Language: Avoid phrases that imply conditions, like “I’m proud of you.” Instead, express acknowledgment without attachment, such as, “I see the effort you put into this—it’s inspiring.”
2. Focus on Active Listening: Repeat back or paraphrase what someone says before responding. This builds trust and clarity.
3. Embrace Silence: Use silence strategically to observe, reflect, and remain grounded.
4. Adapt Your Approach: Tailor your tone, language, and style to suit your audience while remaining authentic.
5. Elevate Your Frequency: Align your communication with the energy and intent you want to share.

Final Thoughts: Words Shape Our World

Mastering communication isn’t just about improving relationships; it’s about elevating every part of your life. Words are powerful tools that can heal, inspire, and connect. But they can also harm, divide, and control if used carelessly. By becoming intentional with your language, embracing active listening, and understanding the energy behind your words, you can create a reality filled with meaningful connections and personal growth.

Ready to learn more? Tune in to the latest episode of the Humble Beginnings Podcast, where I share personal stories and actionable strategies to elevate your communication skills.